This is a
Maverick Guest Blog Post by Luciano Del Monte. Luch is part of our Mavericks team and contributes to our blog and more. He is a fabulous friend, coach, mentor, pastor, husband, father and grandfather. Check out his Bio.
Over the years I have wondered why some people’s growth accelerates while others either plateau or drift into mediocrity. Although many reasons could be listed, I think one stands out above all – a lack of teachability. In fact, author/pastor Matt Keller wrote an entire book on the subject called ‘The Key to Everything: Unlocking the Secret to Why Some People Succeed and Others Don’t.’
“To know and not do is to not know at all!”
Socrates
As a Maverick, I am sure that you will have experienced the ease of working with a member on your team who is eager to learn. I also suspect you will know what it is like to have someone on your team who is not eager to learn. Which person would you want on your team long term?
Take a moment and seriously reflect on these questions. Make a list of the impact from each perspective.
- Teachable team member: What was the impact of their attitude on them, on you, on the team, on your customers and suppliers?
- Un-teachable team member: What was the impact of their attitude on them, on you, on the team, on your customers and suppliers?
I am improving my ability to coach well, and I attribute that to a couple of things. One is my own hunger and drive to be an effective and useful coach. The other is growing my teachability.
My own coach doesn’t hold back in his feedback. I think I’ve demonstrated over the last couple of years that I want to learn. As a result, he gets right in there and isn’t afraid to use phrases like,
“Luch, slow down. One thought at a time.”
“Stop stacking questions.”
“Don’t run away from me.”
“Luch, you need to wallow but eventually you need to swallow because frankly, nobody cares”
“Let me finish before you interrupt me.” (Ouch)
Over the years teachability has served me well; as a competitive runner, a school teacher, a pastor and a mentor. Whenever I have chosen to set aside my ego, and not give in to my ‘china doll feelings’, I have benefited from the one giving me the correction or instruction.
I am the first to admit that being teachable as a way of life is not easy. The older one gets the harder it seems to be to receive difficult feedback from people; especially your spouse or kids, or even friends who care about you.
A piece of Jewish wisdom says, “If you accept correction, you will be honoured.” Proverbs 13:18
When someone makes a suggestion to you or a critique of something you’ve done, what’s your response?
Do you resist and ‘yes, but’ yourself out of getting the correction? Or do you receive it humbly and say, “Thanks for that. Anything else?”
“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”
Confucius
One way to begin to move into the arena of being teachable is to actually ask people you trust, and who have your best interest at heart, to point out anything in your life that may concern them. I know that sounds heavy but, if you are serious about character growth, that’s a good place to start.
A couple of years ago I asked each of my adult children to provide me constructive feedback. I started by saying, “Over the years I know I have been ‘large and in charge’ in your lives, and that at times I may have overstepped my self in my overzealousness to be a good dad. Is there anything you remember that I did or said that left any bad effect on you? Please let me know. I am all ears – really! ”
As a result, they have each had something to say to me that has been extremely useful for my growth. Their feedback has had a positive impact on the quality of our relationships.
Receiving feedback is not always easy. In fact, C. S. Lewis says it well,
“Learning is not child’s play; we cannot learn without pain.”
The apostle James has a rather pointed perspective for us as we consider our own teachability or maybe the lack thereof.
“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”
So a final question….. “How teachable are you?”
Personal Application:
If we claim Christ, then as Mavericks we must grow in our teachability. To expect it of others and not pursue living it out ourselves is to blatantly illustrate our own lack of being teachable our own hypocrisy.
By yourself or in a group work through the following 5 questions:
- 1 Peter 5:5 provides us with a very helpful frame to being teachable. As you reflect on this verse what is God telling you about your teachability?
- Are you willing to ask those close to you about your level of teachability? Why or why not? What may be getting in the way of you being teachable?
- If there is something getting in the way – an attitude or action, are you willing to make it right? James 1:9 speaks clearly about our need to confess and “be teachable”.
- What actions are you sensing God asking of you so that you can be more teachable?
- Who can you ask to help you?
