The pain was clearly written all over his face. As I met with this business owner, the brutal reality of a business partnership “going south” was palpable.
This unfortunate circumstance was the culmination of many years of unresolved conflicts with a partner in the business. Now things were coming to a head.
The implications of this conflict, if not handled well, were enormous for him; both in family and business. These painful concerns were reeling in the mind of this owner as he tried to imagine navigating this relational mess with this partner – a close family member.
He knew that he would be able to “survive” the hit on the business. What he didn’t know was how to “survive” the hit on the family. How would it even be possible to enjoy family gatherings? Would it be possible to enjoy one another’s company again with ease rather than the ongoing wear and tear that had so diminished their relationship?
The decision to engage in business with a family member is a familiar one for many. The excitement of a new start up is compelling as the partners look to do business together. The dream of growth, impact, and provision is quite inviting.
Over the years I have been involved in a number of business partnerships. Although at times not easy, and sometimes at risk of really blowing up relationally, I am very grateful that I still consider each partner a friend. We were able to work through, in the midst of the press, some intense business circumstances.
There were a number of fundamental principles that helped guide us through the darkest of times, principles that have allowed the partners to “meet on the street” and be glad that we did.
Many people would counsel those who desire to be in a partnership with – “Don’t Do It!” It is so very easy to step into – so difficult in the messy times – even more difficult to make it consistently work well!
However, in my experience it can be done well. It is possible for a partnership to work well – to bring the ease desired and minimize the wear and tear that so often accompanies business owners. To realize this ease is a
VERY DELIBERATE CHOICE
of those considering a partnership.
As much as I would like to be able to guarantee a successful partnership with family and friends, I can’t. That is not the real world. I can, however suggest 10 questions you can ask ahead of time, helping minimize the risk of finding yourself in a relational mess with a family or friend business partner.
- What attitudes and actions has this person demonstrated while under pressure?
- What is the basis for their identity? Is it Christ or is it self?
- When they “make a mess” what has been their practice? Do they own it and “clean it up”? Or, is their posture one of justification and defense where they blame others and circumstance for their “mess”?
- How have they handled relational conflict with:
- Family?
- Community?
- You?
- Have they demonstrated a commitment to learning and growing over time?
- Have you experienced them being willing to humble themselves once they realize a mistake has been made?
- What has their commitment been to forgive when they have been wronged?
- What has been their commitment to reconciling, if possible, should there be a relational gap?
- How clear is the potential partner’s sense of personal vision?
- How aligned is their vision with that of yours and the business?
We have discovered a common denominator for client partnership conflicts. Rarely have they had much, if anything, to do with a skill that is missing in a partner. They virtually always have to do with an attitude that has ‘gone south’. I am not diminishing the need for talent and value-add contribution from a partner for a business. I am saying that attitude trumps skill any day! Ask any owner who is in a partnership conflict and they would tell you the same.
Attitude Trumps Skill Any Day!
As much as I would like to be able to guarantee a successful partnership with family and friends, I can’t. That is not the real world. At the same time, it is possible for great ease to be experienced in a business partnership.
Personal Application:
As Mavericks, let’s be wise about business partnerships. Consider the 10 questions in light of the following passage.
The apostle Paul, in Philippians 2:1 – 18, provides a significant frame for us as leaders regarding our attitude. The same frame needs to be brought to those with whom we are considering as partners.
Father,
- What are you teaching me about me, and about those who could be potential partners?
- Have they demonstrated godly character over time while under pressure?
- What is the feedback and counsel from godly people around me regarding this individual?
- What actions would you have me take as a result?
- Is there someone you want me to share this with?
