Lonely at The Top?

I have no-one I can talk to, no-one that I can be really honest with; not at work, at home and definitely not in my church” These were the sentiments spoken to me by a leader as we sat and reflected on their business journey.

This leader was clearly feeling lonely at the top!

Over the years I have often wondered about this dynamic as leaders around me have declared their sense of loneliness. Does it need to be that way?

Like other leaders, I have often felt the weight of processing very difficult decisions, ones that carry significant impact on the careers and well-being of others. There have been times where I have needed to make decisions that, even after helpful discussions and solid counsel, must be made by me – no one else could do it for me. In that sense I was truly alone. And while this is true, my contention is this….

It can feel lonely at the top only when you have chosen not to build close, meaningful relationships with those who are willing to say what is needed to be said and are willing to do what is needed to be done. None of us were meant to do life on our own!

So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (MSG)

I believe that it is possible to live and lead in such a way that our attitudes and actions build a robust “faith – hope – & love” filled community around us. This choice to build community is at the heart of the movement of the gospel. It is central to Jesus’ work in us and through us as we live and lead. This proactive, kingdom approach is core to us experiencing deep, overflowing joy even when we are alone in our leadership decisions. (John 15:1-17) NLT

How lonely are you?

A Maverick Application:

As a leader, here are 6 questions you can ask to help shift feeling lonely to one of deep meaningful connection – even when you are alone.

1. Is the pattern of my life one that shows an independence, co-dependence or interdependence on people?
2. Is my conviction regarding community based on my feelings and experiences, or on the possibilities of community the way that God has designed for me, and others?
3. What mindsets have I adopted as I reflect on questions 1 and 2?
4. What are the areas of my character that may keep me from seeking out and engaging with mature Christ -following leaders?
5. Who can I process these questions with?
6. When will I ask them?