Stop!! Don’t Send It – At Least Just Yet. . .

Have you ever received an email which left you perplexed, very frustrated and quite confused? Have you ever sent a challenging email rather than speaking to the individual either on the phone or in person?

Outside of “personal safety issues”, sending challenging feedback via letter, text, or email can cause more harm than good. Unfortunately email often does the opposite of the original intent.

How often do we make comments, send texts and emails and fail to consider the impact on the receiver and ourselves. In those moments we have lost sight of the needed results for work, home and more.

What keeps us from picking up the phone, asking for a time to discuss and process the potentially helpful feedback?

Here are a few implications I have personally experienced when I have received an inappropriate email.

1. In the moment, we can be emotionally “hijacked” by what we perceive to be a sudden attack and unfair approach.
2. It feels like the person is not operating with our best interest at heart
3. Disappointment and sadness set in as we wonder why the individual didn’t pick up the phone or chat in person regarding their feedback.
4. Wasted time by the email author when this could have been easily worked through with a conversation.
5. The relational disconnect it creates, requiring focus and energy to restore the relationship.
6. Lost time, focus and productivity re-calibrating emotions so that there is capacity to attend to other priorities

What has been the impact on you after receiving an inappropriate email or text?

In an American Psychological Association article…

• Only 56% of recipients were able to accurately detect the intended tone of the email received.
• Over 90% of recipients believed they had correctly interpreted the email.

Did you see those numbers? Only 1 in 2 “hears” the email correctly in terms of tone and content. And over 90% of us receiving the emails believe that we are correct in our interpretation.

“Houston, we have a problem”.

We have a BIG problem!!

In a previous blog, I used the phrase, “Houston, we have a problem”. Well, let me say it again. When it comes to email (and texts) we have a BIG problem!!

Those kind of emails are like rolling the communication dice, somehow hoping it’s going to work……..when, at best, we have a 50 – 50 chance of success.

Why do we persist in using email (texts) as a vehicle to communicate issues and topics that are crucial and carry significant implications?

Maybe we…

1. Feel that we don’t have the time for a conversation.
2. Hide behind the email because in our fear we don’t:
   1. Know what to say.
   2. Know how will they respond.
   3. Know if we have the energy to engage.
   4. Like conflict.
   5. Have the skills to engage well.

A Maverick Communicator is intentional in using tools like email and texts to serve and to “do good”. Any other motive is not an option for a Maverick. Mark 10:45

Here are 7 questions a Maverick asks before they send an email or text that has “weight”.

1. What is the desired outcome in this situation with this person?
2. Is email the best vehicle to achieve the needed outcome?
3. Is my motive to serve or be served?
4. Am I trying to process an important topic by the email?
5. Am I using email to avoid an important conversation?
6. Is there risk of misinterpretation?
7. Before I hit “send” am I willing to ask the above questions?

If Christ was watching you get ready to hit the “SEND” button, would you?

A Maverick Application:

Read 1 John 4:15 – 21

1. Have you ever sent an email or text that you know was not helpful?
2. Reflect on your motive? What was driving your decision in the moment when you “hit send”?
3. Since the inappropriate “hit send” moment, have you done your part to make right what was needed? Why or why not?
4. Ask someone close to you if you need help to step up and do what is right.