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Jesus was not a nice man!” Nancy, a good friend, and leadership colleague said as she responded to a question about being a leader in the workplace. She was responding to a question about how to be nice as a Christ-follower.
The premise for the question, albeit well-intended, was filled with challenge. Quite frankly--and said with respect--I suggest that the general belief that we are to be “nice” is flawed.
Take a look at some of the “nice” language found in the dictionary….
Pleasing Agreeable Delightful Amiably Pleasant
Here’s a challenge: Read the gospel accounts of Jesus’ life and see if you can find any indication of Jesus’ pursuit of being “nice”. How often do you find that Jesus’ objective in a conversation was to be “pleasing, agreeable, delightful, or amiably pleasant”?
Consider this: Jesus was not crucified for being nice. He knew full well that He needed to say challenging, offensive things to people, to ask things of people that were hard to hear. He knew that not all would like Him as a result.
Think about it. What would have been the impact on the advance of the gospel and Jesus’ kingdom if his objective was to be nice?
This is a tough one for you and for me. I see leaders every week crippled by the seduction to please people, to be liked, to be nice.
As Christ-following leaders, we must tackle the underlying motivations for our pursuit of niceness.
In Galatians 1:1 – 10 NLT the apostle Paul provides a clear picture of what it can sound like to not be nice. Have a read. How do Paul’s words inform your thinking?
This has been a huge one for me. In years past, my need to be liked or receive the approval of others limited my capacity to serve well as a leader. Even now, there are times when I am tempted by my need to be liked to lean away from being as direct as needed – “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14 NIV). In the past, my team, managers, clients, family, and community have all been negatively affected when I lacked the courage to speak the truth in love, full of grace.
Joshua 1:9 NLT is a helpful reminder that you and I can lead with courage, overcoming our fears of being disliked. The reason we can do this (as opposed to focusing on being “nice”) is because the Lord our God is with us, helping us, informing us, and strengthening us to do what is needed.
How about you? Are you nice or are you full of grace and truth?
A Deliberate Application:
Are you a leader who hesitates to speak the truth?
Whose approval may you be seeking? Why?
What price are you and others paying because of your compulsion to “be nice”?
