How habits change lives

The following blog is the first of an 8-part series on “Habits” from Darren Bosch here at DeliberateU. 

The first month of 2021 is well underway. It feels like, with the blink of an eye, January will be over. If you’re like me, the New Year season is often a time of reflection and this year is no exception. A moment of longing for hopeful, redemptive growth. After a year like 2020, we know that change is inevitable, growth is required, and what the world, and honestly all of us, really need is more hope and more of the gospel. So, we plan ambitious resolutions for growing - a beautiful reminder of our longing to be made new!

If we’re honest, it’s usually around February when amnesia sets in, our well-intended aspirations lose their shine and we end up disappointed and discouraged with how quickly we’ve “dropped the ball” … again. This year is no exception, maybe the amnesia has already set in. I know from experience that it’s just so hard to make those resolutions stick! I’m a fairly disciplined and driven person. I spent years just trying harder. But that didn’t work either. So, over the past few years, I set out to learn from global experts on the power of habits--leaders like Dr. Tim Elmore, Charles Duhigg, James Clear, Gretchen Rubin, Stephen Covey – and my favourite, Ken Shigematsu. I believe I found the elixir: don’t make resolutions – make habits.

Resolutions are often born from ideals and good intentions. But habits are forming. They shape us because they are the foundational catalysts for change. They drive our rhythms, routines, and resolve. Habits show up in every decision, response, and behaviour we ever make. Researchers at Duke University believe that habits make up 40% of our daily behaviours. This is powerful stuff! Unlike resolutions, we actually become our habits.

Think about it. A habit is something you do over and over without noticing it or even having to think hard about it. Maybe you wake up, spend quiet time with God before the hustle and bustle of work takes over. Maybe you listen to scripture on an App over coffee. Maybe you’re up-and-at-'em, praying as you walk your dog before the kids head off to school. Or maybe, like me, you succumb to the urgent email notification first thing and read a scathing customer complaint that has you so hijacked, you can’t even think about a deliberate time of worship or exercise, nevermind breakfast. So, you head off to the rat race in “fix-it” mode.

In his book The Common Rules: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction, Justin Whimel Earley shares why this is foundational for the Christ-following leader:

Humans were made to worship. Under each of these tiny, ordinary, and tremendously powerful moments lies a habit of worship. If we want to be formed in the love of God and neighbor, we must take hold of our habits.

Some think these practices (habits) are legalistic. This is understandable because if we were to try to pursue habits to earn God’s love, they would be. But when we’re so enamored with the love of God that we decide to order every bit of our lives accordingly—that’s simply responding to the beauty of our Saviour. Habits before love is legalism. But love before habits is the logic of grace. There’s a better way, and it lies in crafting a rule of life that uses ordinary habits to form us in the gospel.

Deliberate Application:

1. Look up Romans 12:2. What are your reflections on the mindset of transformation Paul asks of his readers? 
2. How does Paul’s exhortation to avoid conforming to the world and to renew our minds apply to your habit formation?
3. Looking back on resolutions you’ve made, how does the Gospel inform your thinking around developing core habits vs. making well-intended resolutions?

If we truly want to grow, we need to look at the “scaffolding” that forms the routines for our growth. I’m deeply convicted that, rather than needing better resolutions – or a more effective implementation strategy, you and I need new, life-giving habits that bring us closer towards community, holiness, and ultimately, the throne of Christ. 

In the next few blogs, we’ll help lay the spiritual foundation for habit-forming, and together we’ll get into practical tools for building sustainable, healthy habits - that stick! So don’t just throw your hands up and walk out. You’re not on your own. Because reshaping destructive habits and forming new ones is a deliberate community process.