What’s the big deal about habits anyways?

The following post is the third of a 7-part series on “Habits” from Darren Bosch here at DeliberateU.  

It’s already February! This is often the time of year I get a little tired of the gray winter skies. It’s also the time of year when New Year’s resolutions start to fade and our shoulders hang a little lower as we consider another great intention we haven’t realized. This year is no different!

But, just like there’s always sunshine above those dark clouds, so too, there’s hope for developing better ways to form positive change!

Two weeks ago, we learned that there’s a difference between well-intended resolutions and life-changing habits. Unlike good intentions, habits shape our everyday lives. More than that, habits drive our behaviours which, in turn, forms our character. Today we’re going to look at this a little deeper and then introduce how to set your new habits up for success.

Habits are decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, which ultimately form our character. Is that an outlandish claim? Perhaps we haven’t made the connection between habits and character, but we don’t just wake up on a given day to discover we’ve suddenly become ungodly or godly in our character. It is through habits of fleeing from God that we become “slaves to sin” and through habits of obeying God’s design for us that we become “slaves to righteousness.” (Romans 6:15-18). 

Reacting in anger when you’ve been interrupted mid-conversation by your three-year-old may have become your automatic response. Avoiding hard conversations and holding grudges towards people may feel natural because it’s a behaviour you’ve always repeated. When it comes down to it, we don’t even think about our reactions anymore because they are so ingrained in our routines. Our brain offers them right away because we’ve chosen them first many times before. 

HABITS SCIENCE: how habits work 

Habits stem from a need for shortcuts—our brain’s bent towards saving effort and being more efficient. God designed us so that we naturally lean towards automating regular tasks so we can focus on harder things that require more mental space and energy. For example, when I am healthy, I don’t have to think about breathing. But my brain certainly needs to work hard at designing, writing, or driving my car in rush hour traffic on the 401. God has created habits to save us some work!

HABITS SUCCESS: how to create a habit 

STEP 1: Identify the Habit Loop

Every habit starts with a behavioural path known as the “habit loop”. These patterns are made up of a cue, routine, and reward. Understanding this process can help in changing or forming behaviours. The cue is a trigger telling your brain to automatically start a routine (the habit), which is then satisfied by some kind of reward. This reward is the reason our brain always goes back to this habit, we look forward to closing the loop and receiving that feeling of fulfillment.

Let’s map out this idea with a habit you’re hopefully familiar with...taking a shower. The cue is a long day of hard work or spending time in the gym. Your brain wants the satisfaction of feeling clean, so it prompts you towards the routine: showering. You hardly have to take any time to decide to get there, it is so automatic. 

STEP 2: Isolate the Cue

To change or develop a habit, begin by creating a cue that will remind you when to start the routine. Charles Duhigg, the author of The Power of Habit, explains that our signals are almost always one of these five: location, time, emotional state, other people, or the immediately preceding action. Choose a cue for your habit loop that takes advantage of as many of these categories as possible. For instance, the cue could be pulling into the parking lot at work (location and immediately preceding action) at 8:40 am (time) when you are relieved to be out of traffic (emotional state) and when no one else is around (other people).

STEP 3: Create a Reward

Setting a reward might feel a little strange, but it’s worth noting that we’re not necessarily praising ourselves for our good decisions. Instead, we’re working on creating a pattern in our brain by setting up a craving for the feeling of fulfillment from these habits. If you “reward” a quiet time with God with a fresh cup of coffee, it isn’t actually to reward you for your accomplishment—it’s simply a way to shape how our brain will respond to the habit loop.

Creating and making note of our habit loops can be easy. The gears start to stick when it comes down to practicing these habits and pushing through the days we fail or the times it’s easier to “forget”. It’s smart to ask yourself how you’re going to be kept accountable and respond to challenges.

Will Durant has said: “We are what we repeatedly do.” The trick to ensuring habits stick? Effective cues and rewards, accountability (community), and patient expectations.

Deliberate Application:

1. How may Colossians 3:2 calibrate your goal-setting and habits?
2. An unknown author penned, “Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character, and character fixes our destiny. Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits.” What has that looked like in your life so far?
3. Who are you going to ask this week to act as an accountability partner in your habit formation journey?

Like we said two weeks ago, habits are insanely formative. To make, break or change a habit means we have the opportunity to grow. Let me encourage you that it’s possible! Next week we will look in more detail at how to develop a “Roadmap to Sustainable Habits”—habits that stick! See you then!