Why am I always too busy?

The following blog is the 3rd in a series on “Moving from Hurried to Purposeful” from our mentor and friend Matt Eckert.

Like it or not, I am deeply convinced a primary influence in our lives is our families of origin. My roots and DNA shape my mindset and actions.  

Now don’t get me wrong, some of these defaults are loved and help us thrive. However, unless we take stock and take action, defaults can carry us down the “river of life” in ways that may or may not be good for us and those around us. Does this ring true for you? 

My family influence and DNA form how I think and live out a life of busyness or unhurriedness. What about you? How does your life history, your influences growing up, reveal how you currently operate your business, communicate with your spouse, raise your children? How have those influences perhaps led you to live a hurried life? Do you find yourself always hurried and too busy - to prove your worth? to form your sense of identity?  

BUSY = BADGE OF HONOUR:

Do you find you wear busyness as a badge of honour? Let's get personal... Here are the stories and values from my family of origin that have shaped me:

1. A university degree is important to be seen as valuable

Now, this was never stated out loud, yet somehow it was there. Is it any wonder that I have 4 degrees...and, this is generational...My 3 sisters and my 9 nieces and nephews all have university degrees.

2. Middle class is good. Being poor means you are lazy

Again, I can’t recall long conversations about this, but we also never engaged anyone beyond our economic context. It was only 15 years ago, serving weekly at a men’s shelter, did my opinions change drastically.

3. Reading is important

I was never a reader in my younger years, but my parents read non-fiction books constantly and shared their learning. Then, in my mid-twenties, I fell in love with reading. Reflecting back, it was seeing the impact on my parents that moved me into this space.

I could go on but let me share how these three influences led me to a hurried life. All three of these are about “accomplishment”:

• Getting four degrees is hard work. Two of those degrees I received while working full time as a pastor. I just made it fit. And I enjoyed the compliments I received for how hard I was working. Badge of honour #1.

• If poverty means laziness, then I’ll work hard to avoid that reality and the stigma attached to it. The opposite of lazy is long hours of work - or so we’re led to believe. Also, hard work is virtuous.  Badge of honour #2.

• Reading requires time and a full bookshelf makes me look impressive, so I dove in.  Badge of honour #3.

Now, none of these areas are bad in and of themselves. Yet, if they are the ultimate goal, and I fill my time accomplishing these things, then of course other aspects of life suffer - particularly family relationships.

Yet what does God have for me? How am I missing the life Jesus is calling me into?

With all of this work, how often do we settle for a less healthy lifestyle?

Recent research from the Center for Disease Control shows the following:

• Adults who were short sleepers (less than 7 hours of sleep per 24-hour period) were more likely to report being obese, physically inactive, and current smokers compared to people who got enough sleep. Additionally, they were more likely to report 10 chronic health conditions.

As a follower of Jesus, we have been brought into a life where our identity is only to be found in our relationship with Jesus, where there is peace.

Our family history should never define us, but it should inform us. You have a history that is most likely influencing your life hurriedness more than you might think.

Deliberate Reflection

1. In what ways is your family of origin impacting your hurried life?
2. How much do you control your time, or does time control you?
3. What might your sleep habits say about your hurriedness?

Are you tired of being tired? Are you anxious that you will never be able to not be anxious? Are you ready to look at a different way to live? 

In our next blog, we’ll look at some foundational antidotes for hurriedness from Scripture.  After all, it is our go-to book for answers. Hope is just around the corner.