The following is the first of a 2-part blog series on doing life in community from Darren Bosch of DeliberateU.
There we sat. Another rich conversation with a godly business owner on an outdoor patio. Another eager, busy leader, struggling to balance work and home. Another entrepreneur trying to drive better results but believing the myth that successful Christian business leaders can do it all on their own.
The question came: “Why would a business leader who has God need a trusted circle of peers and mentors?” Doesn’t hard work, a keen mindset, some popular business books on one’s shelf… and church small groups do the trick?
Like many of us “type-A” leaders, we often lean towards self-sufficiency. Some of us even wear it like a badge of honour. After all, doesn’t that “Protestant work-ethic” line up with Scripture? Aren’t we called to work diligently? Isn’t that admirable?
Proverbs has much to say about virtuous and faithful labour, while at the same time stressing the importance of intentional community and peer counsel. “Iron sharpens iron,” Solomon says in Proverbs 27, “and one man sharpens another.” He also warned about the danger of avoiding others’ wisdom: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise” (Proverbs 12:15, NKJV).
Reality Check:
I can’t tell you how many successful business leaders we work with who, in a safe environment, admit their fear of asking for help, their frustration with trying to do it all alone, the pressure they feel to put on a good face. Outwardly they appear so successful and have so many people depending on them, so they “buck up” and press on hoping for different results, only to plateau.
But then God steps in. Fear and pride break. They are released as they confess their self-sufficiency. And they experience the fruit of God’s transforming work through what Paul Tripp calls “instruments in His redeeming hands”: community!
Iron sharpens iron:
Most of history’s greatest leaders and most successful business folks had key advisors, mentors, and peer groups along the way. Even great thinkers sought the company of like-minded peers to help them along their way. As you may know, in the 1930s, C.S. Lewis started a small literary circle called the Inklings, with the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien – to muse, collaborate, grow and sharpen each other and their craft. The influence on the members was colossal.
After his friends heard some initial chapters, Lewis scrapped the first draft of his epic The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Upon hearing their feedback, he considered it “so bad that [he] destroyed it.”
Being sharpened by peers matters. When we’re deliberate about it, it’s a key ingredient to accelerated growth. Imagine if we could create communities that helped everyone involved achieve their goals together and grow more like Jesus in the process… Like C.S Lewis and the Inklings.
Effective Peer Groups are invaluable in at least 4 areas:
- Learning: Growing with keen peers accelerates your learning and best practices – especially since we all have blind spots. We “don’t know what we don’t know”, but peers can help us see gaps we aren’t even aware of and provide a shift in perspective.
- Building Momentum: We all need people who can speak truth into our lives and help us when we veer off track. The right peers hold us to our goals and help grow our integrity and results more intentionally. They ensure objectivity and accountability in our business targets and faith walk, so we realize a return on investment and enjoy transformation.
Think of them as your “personal board of directors.” They provide the accountability and insight necessary to avoid a lot of pain and achieve more than you could on your own. And of course, it’s not just about what you get. You can offer the same – your unique giftings bless others in the group!
- Encouragement: Whether it’s business, family life, or your faith journey, life can be tough. A rich peer group provides the timely support you need to weather the storms, grow resilience, and deepen your relationship with Christ.
- Growing others: How do you strategically invest in your team to grow their engagement, acumen, results…or team members’ personal faith journeys? Most of us have not been taught how to do this well. That’s where an effective Christian mentorship community bears fruit.
We believe the most effective way to personally and professionally grow is through an effective Christian Peer Group. By this, we mean a community centered around the truth of the Kingdom that provides support and sharpening safely and honestly – facilitated by mentors who come alongside you. In such a community, you learn better practices and insider information and get the expert counsel of those who’ve walked the road before you. These groups work best for those who know there’s more for them, who have the humility to be stretched, and who fundamentally want to learn and grow.
Why seek out a Christian Peer Group?
- You can’t do it all alone.
For years, I was a lone ranger. Everything seemed to come easy, and I was convinced that with hard work, lots of drive, and the application of my giftings, I didn’t need anyone else with me to “succeed.” Besides, “human success” came, and I was having fun. At least it appeared that way for many years.
But really, I was just young and delusional. Thankfully God was merciful and kept knocking on my door. He rescued me from my self-dependence. Through a series of painful lessons, He got my attention, showing me that I needed Him… and I needed others.
- You need trusted mentors:
The truth is that we all need advisors. We can’t be experts in everything. Three times the Bible says with good reason, “in a multitude of counselors there is safety”. (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22 & 24:6)
We're deeply convicted by Scripture to do life and leadership in community. It's God's design. Besides, if you could have done it on your own, you would have already.
NOTE: Stay tuned for our next blog on “What to look for in a Christian Business Peer Community”
