Self-leadership

How to make difficult decisions

The following post comes from a blog posting by Ralph Mayhew from the Biblical Leadership website.

Have you ever had to make a very difficult decision? You weigh the pros and cons only to discover that the answer you're looking for is still not obvious. Of course, we all have!


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You may be facing decisions like changing jobs, investing heavily in a creative idea, committing a significant amount of time to something, or choosing between two really good and healthy options or people. The list goes on and on.

Regardless of the complexity or significance of a decision, the traditional method of calculating the benefits and detriments of a particular choice and going with the greater list isn’t as helpful as we need it to be. Sometimes one pro can outweigh a large list of cons, just as one con can outrank all of the reasons for something.

Jesus was a master at making great decisions, from the words he uttered when a woman was dragged before him to be stoned (John 8:1-11) to a blind man wanting to see again (Mark 10:51), to the way he approached the Pharisees (Matthew 12:34) and later the cross. Jesus put on a clinic for incredible decision-making.


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Developing a decision matrix

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines matrix as something within or from which something else originates, develops, or takes form.

This is a method to work out what is important to you, and from that create a set of questions you can then filter a difficult decision through.

Recently, I was approached to take on a significant role in the community, in which Village Church (which I pastor) exists. Let me show you how I developed and used a decision-making matrix to assist me in deciding what to do.

I value a number of things dearly, which are all important factors in my decisions making, shaping my decision matrix:

Time: Will this be a good use of my time in relation to my wife, my family, and my other commitments?

Community: Will this role really help the community, in a way only doing this role can?

Skills: Am I able to contribute to this role significantly, based on the skills I have?

Organizational: Is it truly beneficial for the organization if I take on this role?

Humility: Can I sincerely say that I don’t want to do this because it makes me look good or be more respected?

Service: Is this a true act of service, which I am doing with no desire to benefit from?

Fit: Does this opportunity fit with who I am, what my family values, and what I feel I should be doing?

Calling: Does this affirm and further the call God has put on me to do what I do? For me, this factor carries far more weight than all the others.

Most people just use the time-consideration as a determining framework, and the result is usually the same “I’m too busy.” 

The problem is, anyone who breathes feels too busy, rendering this question by itself unhelpful. 


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Additional questions to consider

For decisions different from the one I had to make, there are other questions that may be helpful to build into your decision matrix. For example:

Money: Can we sustain the cost of this?

Resources: Is this important enough to us that we will commit ongoing resources to its success?

Integrity: Will this opportunity shape my character?

Timing: Is this the right time to engage in this opportunity?

Culture: Is this opportunity congruent with who we are and what we are about?

Opportunity: Will this opportunity likely lead to other opportunities I’d like to pursue?

There is no limit to the questions you may find helpful in assisting you. Developing a decision-making matrix of key questions you need to explore significant decisions will help you to think through the complexity.

I like each of my questions to be answered in the affirmative before I proceed with a decision. You may want to choose a different strategy, as each question may have a different weight of importance to you. The process isn’t meant to be scientific. It’s meant to equip you to think more thoroughly about complex decisions.

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