This is part 3 of a 6-part series on the Christian Mid-life leader
OK, so you’re having a coffee with your “30-year-old self”. Your “30-year-old you” wants to know how to best prepare for the inevitable challenge of mid-life changes. What might you say? How does your already-lived life, faith, and leadership inform your response?
My business partner Darren and I enjoyed real-life conversations recently with many Christian leaders who are well into their “mid-life” years. A couple of quotes emerged….
“Feeling disillusioned and disenchanted with leadership, economics, government’s integrity, and even church! Where is the world going? I feel like I have no resilience left. I wonder if it was from years of pursuing other things and not aware of my need to invest in my inner man? What’s my purpose anyways?”
“I think I’ve plateaued. My health ain’t good. My family relationships are “meh”. My church is “meh”. I don’t trust people anymore. I feel I’ve lost my purpose!”
In these examples, each leader:
- Gave it their all, worked hard, and sacrificed it all.
- Is “seen” by the world as VERY SUCCESSFUL.
- Is financially set for the future.
- Is feeling alone… disconnected, discouraged, disillusioned.
- Is wondering what happened.
One leader seems to be somewhat aware of how their decisions over the last few decades may have contributed, in part, to their current crisis. The other leader remains “stuck in the mud” of their own ego and the blaming of others around them for their current misery.
Maybe you can identify with these leaders. Maybe you are hearing your story in their reflections. Maybe you are feeling like you’ve climbed the ladder of business ownership and now that you are at the “top”, you’ve got this sick feeling that maybe…just maybe….you had your ladder on the wrong wall.
What would you tell your “30-year-old self”? What can we learn from these 2 leaders, and your story, that would be hope”full”, wonder”full”, and help”full”?
As I have reflected on these very real questions over the years, I have some suggestions that I believe will provide you with the capacity to - as Jesus declared - experience life to the full.
HELP: Here are 5 C’s that can help frame your strategy for navigating mid-life… whether you are in it, preparing for it, or already past it.
- Connection: We are designed for connection, for community. Connection, or maybe even better yet, relationship, is at the heart of the Christian experience. Our entire essence is designed to operate with a deep sense of ‘oneness' with our Father, with Jesus and the Spirit, with our neighbor… and with our own selves. Matthew 22:36-40, John 17:20-23
- Capacity: Given our “image-bearing” reality of the Lord, we are designed with the capacity to learn, grow, and become more and more like Christ. It is absolutely possible for us to experience life to the full as Jesus promised. Please don’t hear some sort of “health and wealth gospel”. We are designed with the God-given capacity to love and be loved, to lead, and to add value to the world around us as we are led by the Lord. Genesis 1:27, John 10:10
- Character: I often wonder if the lack of Christ-like character is at the heart of our leadership mid-life dilemma. I wonder if our failure to take seriously the “little” thoughts and emotions that are outside of how Jesus would have us operate is the real culprit. I wonder what it would be like if we took seriously Paul’s charge to “take captive every thought and make it subject to Christ”. Would we be experiencing the reality of the mid-life crisis differently? Colossians 3:1-17
- Contribution: Are you a consumer or a contributor? Are you a giver or a taker? Have you operated in your leadership with a focus on serving or being served? Your answer to these questions will help you understand what, in part, has contributed to your experience of the mid-life dilemma. As much as I would like it to be different, one of the main tragedies of Christian leadership has been the focus on self. Jesus was clear…you must learn to deny yourself in order to be able to lead and love. Matthew 6:33, Luke 9:23, Mark 10:45
- Challenge: Maybe Crisis. No one is exempt from the challenge of adversity and hardship. Jesus promised it. Our journey into a deeper and richer intimacy with Him is found on the road of challenge and controversy…on the road of suffering. What will help navigate the inevitable hardship is your Godly resilience…your deep experience of His providence, provision, and promise to be with you while you are in the midst of the mid-life challenge. John 6:33, Isaiah 43:1-4
My sense, as I reflect on the above leaders’ quotes, is that they would intellectually agree with the “5 C’s”. However, their experience of the Lord and His guiding them through the “5 C’s” over the decades was different from their intellectual knowledge. Somehow they had managed to separate their life and leadership from the “teaching” on a Sunday morning and their choices at work and at home on Monday.
What about you? What are your reflections on the “5 C’s” as you consider your “mid-life”…either current, coming or past? Are you growing the resilient character in Christ that will provide what you need to endure the inevitable realities of mid-life?
Also, remember that it is never too late to begin, re-set or renew!
Here’s an invitation… come join us at our Mid-Life Leaders’ Getaway. Come learn and be encouraged by business leaders similar to you, leaders who don’t want to settle for less than what Christ has for them.
Our desire for you is that you would flourish with whatever years the Lord has for you. A crucial part of you navigating midlife well is your purposeful, intentional growth in the “5 C’s”.
Are you engaged in the “5 C’s”?
