How many loves do you see?” was my question as I spoke at a recent “Guy’s Night Out” on “5 Habits To Go The Distance”. About 180 men had gathered for an evening of connection, encouragement, challenge and a great steak dinner.
I was struck by these men’s deep desire to enjoy a full and rich life. I also knew that, within such a large group, there would be those with the reality of deep disappointment, frustration, anger and even bitterness. Life, for many, would not have “turned out” as hoped. For some, life has gone sideways.
While much wear and tear has been experienced, I also know that Jesus has invited us into something different. He has invited us into the ease of His kingdom. Jesus talks about something very different than what is experienced by many.
Introducing the 1st Habit – “The Habit Of Love”- we read Jesus’ response to the taunting of a Pharisee as to what would be the Greatest Commandment.
I asked the group ‘How many loves do you see?” The response from the men that evening was, “There are 2!” For many years my own answer had been the same.
I asked the men to read it again, inviting them to see the reality of the 3rd love, imbedded in Jesus’ words…
“Love your neighbour as YOURSELF.”
For many, this idea of “loving yourself” is either a distant possibility, or something that is self focused, narcissistic, and not to be tolerated.
Although we may not like the language Jesus gave us, many of us choose a mind full of “stinkin thinkin”. We rehearse self-deprecating language and perspectives that are in direct opposition to how our God, the One who made us, sees us. While we may not like loving ourselves, we are quite tolerant about loathing ourselves.
I am very aware of our depravity – my depravity. I am aware of the “seed of Adam” in my nature – my fleshly compulsions that “war against my soul”. I am daily reminded of Paul’s familiar words in Romans 7:14- 25 where the things that I don’t want to do I do; the things I do want to do, I don’t. Trust me, I know that outside of Christ, I am a very lost man.
Yet, in spite of our broken state, we have a vivid hope! Because of Jesus, we have been rescued from the lure of our flesh and the evil one.
In Psalm 139, we are clearly reminded of how our God sees you and me. He sees us as precious and marvelous. We are His creations, His people, fearfully and wonderfully made.
So, with this in mind, “How many loves do you see?”
Until we learn to love ourselves the way Jesus loves us, we will not:
- Experience life to the full. John 10:10
- Find the rest we so desperately desire. Matthew 22:28-30
- Be able to love others in a way that demonstrates Christ in us and through us. John 13:34-35
This type of “loving yourself” is diametrically opposed to the egocentric, narcissistic self-focus so often seen in the world around us.
Jesus invites us to love our selves differently.
Henry Nouwen, in the “Life of the Beloved“
, writes:
“When we claim and constantly reclaim the truth of being the chosen ones, we soon discover within ourselves a deep desire to reveal to others their own chosenness. Instead of making us feel that we are better, more precious or valuable than others, our awareness of being chosen opens our eyes to the chosenness of others. That is the great joy of being chosen: the discovery that others are chosen as well. In the house of God there are many mansions. There is a place for everyone – a unique, special place. Once we deeply trust that we ourselves are precious in God’s eyes, we are able to recognize the preciousness of others and their unique places in God’s heart.”
So, how many “loves” do you see?
A Maverick Application:
- Read Matthew 22:38-40. How many loves do you truly see?
- If you and others were listening to your inner voice talk to you about you, what would be heard? Would you hear language of negative, self-deprecation and loathing? Or would you hear language that is imbedded in the beauty of Psalm 139?
- Decide how many loves you are willing to experience? If you choose 3, you will enter into an intimacy with Christ, and with those around you, which you were designed to enjoy.
- What is God asking of you as you grow to love Him, yourself and others more?
