Enjoy the last of our 6-part series on the small business leader and difficult conversations.
Here is Part 6: So… How do I start?
You know what it is like: You know you need to have a conversation, but you expect it will not be easy. It’s tempting to put it off, and you are unsure of how to start. Sound familiar? What do you do?
Having a framework for starting and guiding those high-stakes conversations is helpful. And if you’re committed to leading yourself and others well, then paying attention to how you start, guide, and finish high-stakes conversations is a crucial skill!
Are you an artful high-stakes conversation leader?
Here are 6 steps to help set up a high-stakes conversation for success.
As you come into the conversation...
- Choose love. Reaffirm your commitment to loving the person. This is not about being nice. It is about your willingness to extend yourself for the highest good of the other. Check out these past posts on the temptation to be nice. Matthew 22:34-40 NLT
- Be present. In an age of distraction, the seduction to play the “multitasking game” is always right there in front of you. Choose to NOT be distracted. Choose to be present. Jesus offered two women the same opportunity to be present with him. One chose well and one was distracted by many things…In conversations, which one are you? Luke 10:38-42 NLT
- Be sensitive. While fully understanding the need for the high-stakes conversation, be aware and be sensitive. Choosing the timing and location wisely, as well as considering the needs of the business and the capacity of the other person will have a significant impact on the success of the conversation. Colossians 4:5-6 MSG
- Know your #! Where are you on the stress scale? If you and/or the other person are in an emotionally tough place, then attempting to have a serious conversation will likely not produce the outcome needed. “Losing it” is not helpful for anyone. First, ensure you and the other person have the emotional capacity to engage well. Proverbs 15:1 NIV
- Be clear. Be clear on the topic of the conversation. Be clear on the process to follow for the conversation. Be clear on the desired outcomes for you and the other person. James 1:6-8 TPT
Be curious! People do things and behave in certain ways for their reasons. Coming into a high-stakes conversation, have an attitude of curiosity! Instead of making assumptions about the other person’s motives, ask questions and explore their perspective. Understanding why they think and do what they think and do will inform your decisions as you invite a needed change. Choose to be curious...have the courtesy to check your assumptions. Acts 17:11 NIV
High-stakes conversations are just that...high stakes. Whether the conversation is with a key employee or a family member, there is much outside of your control. But you can control how you set up the conversation.
How are you doing at setting your high-stakes conversations up for success?
If you are feeling the pain of poor communication at work, at home, or in your community.... join us at our 2 Day course on November 19th & 20th. Click the image below for more details.
A Deliberate Application:
Have I experienced success in leading difficult conversations up to this point?
Which of the 6 steps offers you a real opportunity to change the way you set up conversations for success?
When will you start?
Who can you ask to help you grow in this area?
