In the past few weeks, I have engaged in four client conversations where this “lie” has deceived very good leaders. The impact of this lie has been profound on them. They:
Find themselves cut off and very alone.
Do not have the needed input and counsel to make solid, wise decisions.
Here it is--the BIG LIE--the one that has waylaid so many of us over time:
“I can do it on my own!”
As a Christ-following leader, one who has been involved in coming alongside many leaders over the years, I would suggest that this is one significant challenge facing us today. Our compulsion to “do things on our own” can run deep within each of us.
Here are some of the common reasons why we don’t ask for help…..why we think we can “do it on our own”:
- We don’t see the problem until it is too late. This has been a big one for me. By nature, I tend toward being overly optimistic in my capacity to make something happen & to get things done. In those times, my business partner Chip will ask me, “Why didn’t you ask for help?” My response is, “I didn’t realize I needed help until it was too late!”
- We worry over the opinions of others. The voice in our heads can be filled with “stinkin’ thinkin’”. We wonder if, when we ask for help, we’ll be viewed as weak, unsure, lacking confidence, not capable.
- Our pride keeps us from raising our hand. We think we are strong enough. We don’t want to be seen as weak. Our identity can be wrapped up in the persona of being “just fine” and capable of “doing it on our own”. Our pride keeps us from asking for help.
Pause for a moment. Ask: which one is your vulnerability?
The lie that “I can do it on my own” is one the evil one uses to attempt to render us ineffective in our lives – at work, at home, in our churches and communities.
I reflect back now on a couple of very vulnerable times in my life where I was faced with dark moments of overwhelm and deep uncertainty. The anxiety was very real. In those times it was like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, afraid I could cascade over at any moment. Maybe some of you can relate?
There were 2 critical things that helped me crawl back from the edge.
- A deep conviction in the sovereignty of God and His hand and control in my life.
- A community of family and close friends (you know who you are), who stuck close to me in those times. They journeyed with me, speaking words of faith, hope, and love. They reminded me with both quiet companionship and words that I was loved by them and by God. The healing impact of my community has profoundly impacted me for life.
Over 30 years ago my wife, Cathy, and I committed to one another that we would ALWAYS be intimately connected to a community of God’s people. We knew that we needed to be engaged with men and women of faith for our health, for theirs and for the ministry of the gospel into the lives of the people around all of us.
In my friendship and work with Chip, my business partner, we have the same conviction. We know that we are…
NOT DESIGNED TO DO THIS LIFE ALONE!
Neither are you!! This conviction is one of the driving forces behind why we believe God is using the Mavericks. We are better together!!
Amongst other things, I am convinced that I am here today, engaged in what I do and being who I was meant to be, because of the significant contribution and impact of my community of people who continue to invest in me.
How is your community?
Deliberate Application:
Describe your experience of Christian community:
Intimate, growing, meaningful for you and for them?
Independent, alone in your thoughts and decisions?
Social rather than meaningful?
If your community is weak, what can you do to improve it?
Download the Maverick Application worksheet and invest time in reframing your view and commitment to community.
Resolve that you will not do life alone anymore!
